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Super Mommy Has Run Away…

By Amy Fitzgerald, MSW

February 5, 2012

WoW! Welcome 2012! One month in and my life has become a whirlwind! All kinds of wonderful things are happening but to be brutally honest, it has been tricky trying to maintain my Super Mommy role. I began a new part-time job after being a Stay at Home Mom since May 2011. A job that is an awesome, incredible opportunity that I had dream of having one day! In January, I also branched myself out in the writing horizon and will be writing blogs/articles for a few more on-line publications. I’ve tried my best to balance work, writing, taking care of my family, plus continue running. My running allows me to keep everything in balance and maintain perspective on what is truly important in life.

Right now I am training to run the NYC half marathon on March 18th. After running the ING NYC Marathon in November, I became a different person. In some ways I became stronger, having the courage to run 26.2 when I wasn’t even sure if I would finish. After crossing the finish line, and experiencing a constant flow of tears, I realized it is okay to be vulnerable to life’s smack downs. You know what I’m talking about…the curve balls thrown at you, on a sunny day, when you had just answered your friend’s question “how are you?” earlier that morning, with the response, “life is actually going amazingly well” and then your sunny sky suddenly turns gray, without warning.

At first, I tried to do it all. Keep up with my fitness routine, frantically get the kids to school in the morning while also getting dressed before 8am, go to work, commute one hour each way, dive into the laundry piles when I arrived home, struggle to help the kids with their homework, take care of our elderly dog, scramble to put meals together, attend meetings, and of course, attend social outings (I’ll never give those up, as well as, my running. They both keep me sane.). And erratic grocery shopping trips at 10pm at night, as well as, finding myself writing in the midnight hour. Oh! And I can’t forget to mention the dishes. Just when I would want to collapse in bed at 1am, 2am…they would stare at me as I walked by the kitchen counter, on my way to go find my PJ’s and escape to a dream world.

I can hear my mother telling me that I have too much on my plate. I can hear my kids asking me why I am so tired. I can hear my husband asking me what is for dinner and telling me he needs clean underwear. I can hear my boss justifying my late arrival as I confirm, “Yes, it was the traffic again.” I can hear my body yelling at me, “Keep running!” because the fibromyalgia flares have started to begin again in my elbows. And this is all happening, while I am mourning the loss of two very dear special friends who were such a huge part of my life. “All I Want To Do Is Run Away” is what I verbalize to my husband. He is in Vegas, without a worry in the world and I have just fallen down the stairs, sobbing into the phone.

Have you been in this place before? Where you feel like the world is caving in? You can’t handle the weight of the world? You are not alone.

My kids were angels that night. Asking if they should call 911, texting their daddy, telling them that mommy was hurt and asking what they should do. Even my 5 year old asked me if I wanted a boo boo mouse. I said thank you but then promptly explained that you really can’t put a boo boo mouse on your bottom. My tailbone was screaming in pain.

As I write this, I realize that I am normally the mom whose blogs are full of inspiration, hope, and encouragement. And I still am, That Mom. I’ve just decided to give up my Super Mommy Role and ask for some help.

I reached out to my Mom friends and wrote a devotional that left me standing naked with my emotion of sorrow for my two friends. After I read this devotional at my MOMSNext meeting, I realized it was my friend’s hugs and words of encouragement that were exactly what I needed. I taught my 9 year old daughter how to make her own oatmeal in the morning and decided to let my five year old, pour the drinks at mealtime. My 9 year old twins are now taking out our dog in the morning and when they get home from school. All three kids are now playing an active role in sorting, folding and putting away their laundry. My husband is now responsible for making the kitchen clean after I try my best to make healthy meals for my family. I have also started to utilize the grocery delivery service, PeaPod, by Giant. As for my job, I have a wonderful supervisor who is allowing me to divide my time up between the office and work from home. I have carved out “me” times for my running and for my cross training, which is to regularly attend my Body and Soul fitness classes. My fibromyalgia is now under control now that I am running again on a regular schedule instead of when I could fit it in.

I also finally went to the doctor’s and confirmed that my tailbone is not broken. I will be 110% in a few weeks. Ironically, this was the same day I found out that I was selected to be a “WhyMarathon.com Team Ambassador.” This is a role that I will take on with pride and determination to inspire others to run. Recently, while on a run, I realized how running has given me a sense of control when the rest of the world is out of control. However, at the same time, running allows me to let go. By running, I am able to be more open to the world around me, opening my heart, mind, and soul, and accepting of what is, instead of being angry or upset at the outcome of a life event. Running has given me peace and the courage to make my world a better place. What is it, that you have discovered, that gives you courage and peace?

Dig deep, it is important that you find it. We can all lose ourselves in this wide, open world. It is very easy to fall into a murky hole. Don’t be afraid to reach out, when you have fallen down and you are not really sure how you are going to get back up. Believe in your sunny skies again. Give yourself permission to let go. Be yourself, without being Everything, to Everyone Else. It is okay not to be a Super Mommy. I have discovered that just being a Mommy, who sometimes needs help from those around her, is a super role to have, in itself.

All About smalltalkers

by Jennifer Rushing

February 3, 2012

When I found out I was pregnant with my oldest child, my husband and I were in the Army, stationed in Monterey, CA. In the small town where we lived off-post, there was a picturesque mommy-and-me parenting center that every mom in the area went to for classes, reading time, and open play. I took my first prenatal yoga class there, and wished with all my heart that we’d be able to stay at that duty station so I could take my daughter to classes there. But of course, we moved before my daughter was born, and moved again and again. I kept looking for a place like the one I’d been to in California, but couldn’t find it. Finally, we settled in Northern Virginia. And finally, I found the place I’d been looking for!

smalltalkers is a Mommy & Me, Play Together/Learn Together Parenting Center in Centreville that offers a wide variety of opportunities and activities for moms and their little ones to enjoy. The focus is on babies and toddlers, with new classes for preschoolers and children up to age six. Classes are all age-specific and developmentally-appropriate. The space is bright and clean and engaging; on Fridays and Sundays there are Baby & Toddler Open Play hours that allow parents and their little ones to interact and socialize in a fun and child-centered environment.

Owned by Terri Lee, a retired pediatric speech therapist who teaches the Baby Play infant development and communication classes, smalltalkers is adding new class offerings and expanding its schedule next month. New classes include Prenatal and Baby-wearing Hula, ZenBaby Infant Massage, Toddler and Family Music classes, SmartArt for toddlers, Sing and Sign sign language classes for ages 3-6, Baby Signs for 6-18 months, Mommy and Me Yoga classes for crawlers through age 4, and Infant CPR and First Aid. In addition to teaching Baby Play classes, Terri Lee also hosts Baby & Toddler Open Plays twice a week, a New Moms Group, and occasionally teaches a popular “Toddlers and Tantrums” seminar. There are classes for so many different interests and ages, every day and evening of the week.

After looking for years for a parenting center like the one I’d been to in California, I am thrilled to have found smalltalkers. Come check out what smalltalkers has to offer. Learn together, Play together!

For more information about the programs and activities available, or to register for a class, visit smalltalkers online. For the chance to win a $50 credit toward any smalltalkers class with registration in the next 90 days send a blank email with "BABY" in the subject line to elizabeth@dullesmoms.com. This contest ends on Sunday, February 5th. Winner will be announced via Facebook between February 5th and 8th.

Processed Foods to Organic Foods and how to make the switch - even with kids!

by Cindy Santa Ana

Check out Cindy's Blog: Processed Living

January 30, 2012

Today I have come up with a table of foods – Processed to Organic. Our family now eats foods from the “Even Better” column. But, it wasn’t that long ago that I blindly went to the grocery store, tossed in the cheapest bread I could find, filled my cart with frozen meals, chicken nuggets, juice for the kids, cartons of fruit-flavored low-fat yogurt, fat-free mayo, cheese slices, lunchmeat and skim milk. I thought I was eating healthy by choosing low-fat or fat-free, drinking skim milk and eating 90/10 ground beef. Well, that life led me to Hypothyroidism, being 40 lbs. overweight, frequent migraines, multiple medicines, feeling sluggish, allergies, hip pain, strange pain in my legs, frequent illnesses and overall yuckiness. Now, a year and a half later, I can tell you that all of the above are GONE! I have practically cured my hypothyroidism, no more headaches or weird pains and I have lost 34 pounds thus far! My kids are drinking water, raw milk, and eating whole foods without added sugar and breading. They gobble up fresh fish, pork tenderloin, kale, raw nuts, and veggies galore! It is possible for your kids to eat this way too! Don’t get me wrong, it took some trial and error to find their favorite veggies and meats, but once you do, you’re golden! So, take a peek at the list and see where you fall.

If your diet is largely based off the foods in the first column, try swapping them out with foods from the middle column. You can work your way towards the right. You might be scared when looking at some of the items calling for full-fat and oils that you may not be used to using. But don’t be. We need fat and it keeps us fuller longer and gives us energy. When you eat foods that have the fat removed, they often replace the fat with sugar and mostly in the form of high fructose corn syrup. To find Organic, grass-fed meats and raw milk sources, visit www.localharvest.org and www.eatwild.com.

To learn more and get weekly meal planning tips, “Like” Unprocessed Living on Facebook and come back often to my blog.

What do I expect?

by Mary-Elizabeth Roesch

Check out Mary-Elizabeth's Blog: Made by Me

January 22, 2012

My husband and I are due with our second child in just three weeks time. This one is a boy (we already have a wonderful little girl, Annemarie) and is cooking right along. In the spirit of preparing for the babies birth my husband and I were discussing all the necessary tasks which we should complete before Ryan (boy on the way) arrives. Really serious things like finishing the nursery, cleaning all the bathrooms, packing a hospital bag, packing a bag for our daughter, packing a bag for the dog... and then he asked the question. Which now just seems loaded... “is there anything else you want me to do for the hospital part of this?” And without much thought I told him that I needed him to just be there for me, I mean that’s all we pregnant Moms really want right?

The conversation continues through out the evening. At one point, I asked him to google some relaxation techniques to help me through my attempt at Natural Birth. When he asked where to do for such information I thought I would be a smart ass and hit google, type in “dads role in birth” and just had him the iPad. So I did. Without reading what I just handed him. Big mistake! Because if you google that exact phrase and click on the first entry- mine happens to be from BabyCenter- the article is less then fulfilling. In fact it says NOTHING to the effect of what Dad’s role is in the hospital/birth. It basically says- “your role has changed...” Nothing to the effect of what he should bring, who he should call, massage, counter pressure, scented oils, a bathing suit for showering with me during labor... I mean nothing. WHO WROTE that article?? I want their job if they are getting the big bucks to write for BabyCenter...

So anyway- when I handed him the iPad without reading what I had just thrown in his lap like I was hottie pottie, he looked at the screen and says, “are you serious? Did you even read this?”

That pretty much ended my expedition to make him feel silly for not “knowing” what to do... because then I did read it- along with some other websites which were equally disappointing- and I immediately understood why he was asking me in the first place. There isn’t really great information for him to access- and when he does find something, he really is not sure if it is going to apply to my situation. Kudos hubs, I owe you undo credit. Thanks for asking the right questions and taking time to listen to me.

We spent the rest of the evening together- sans TV, surfing iTunes for relaxing music, setting up our HBOgo account, and planning how we will be spending those glorious magical moments trying to keep me from thinking about how much pain I am going to be in.

Side note- We found useful information available on http://www.americanpregnancy.org/

Rooted

by Celina Hutchins

January 15, 2012

As a mom, my life is so busy. Who knew that January would start off with so many things to do. Two well child check ups, a dentist and ortho appointment in one week for one child, a PTA meeting, a 7th grade fun trip, and so much more. Life couldn't get crazier and where would I find time to do everything that really has to get done.

This past weekend, I went with our middle school youth group to Youth Encounter near Baltimore, MD. What was I thinking? Did I really have time to "babysit" 17 seventh and eighth graders? I could hear my to-do list ticking off in my head and I really wanted this three day weekend to finsh the laundry. That wasn't going to happen, and we all know that it will be there when I get back.

I have known several of our youth members since they were a foot high, well, at least shorter than me. Needless to say, I can tell when they have their "church" behavior on or their "hey, I'm a hyper, normal tween" behavior on. I expected more of the "normal" behavior all weekend. That would include my son, who I know is no golden boy. He, along with the 16 others proved me wrong.

Over two days of speakers, music, inspirational talks, and freedom, I watched these young kids bloosom into semi mature Tweens, if only for the weekend. I saw respect for others, both young and old. Eyes opened to messages about love and faith. Hearts got fuller as friendships and talks developed. It made my heart full of joy and made me really want to kick myself for not thinking they would behave so nicely! Sometimes it takes a knock on my hard noggin to get some sort of sense into me. Just ask my husband about that!

Our youth is rooted in their faith and I am forever grateful that I have gotten to know each and every one of them better. Now, when they have their "hey I'm a hyper, normal tween" behavior on and they want to sign another Justin B. song, I won't pull my hair out. I have to remember that they are normal tweens trying to adjust in a normal world. Perhaps my waiting laundry and to-do list will tick loudly in my head and drown out the noise of some loud song that they are singing at the top of their lungs. On the other hand, I just may join in!

The After Effects Of A Day At Chuck E. Cheese

by Alison Welti

Check out Alison's Blog: Tales From the Trenches of Motherhood

January 8, 2012

My son, George was invited to a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party. There were so many reasons to not go, but he loves his friend so dearly that I knew I would be spending my Sunday afternoon at the God forsaken, germ incubating, ear drum shattering, over-stimulating, child's paradise known as Chuck E. Cheese. As a child growing up in West Virginia we were not fortunate enough to have the Chuck E. Cheese, but we did have our own version. It was appropriately named Billy Bob's Wonderland. Is anyone surprised?....no. To add insult to injury I'm pretty sure all of the singing and moving electronic critters were old, decrepit hand-me-downs from Chuck E. Cheese. We had a gorilla playing the piano, a cheer leading mouse, some type of vermin that popped out of a tree stump every now and then. We had a stinky ball pit (they always stink - especially in southern WV when people come down off the mountain for Sara Jo's birthday party), skee ball, whack-a-mole, some other various arcade games, and the illustrious prize counter. Of course, growing up I thought Billy Bob's was a top-of-the line children's Mecca. My parent's took us there occasionally and have brilliant memories. Mom and Dad, thank you for the sacrifice! I get it now. I had to include some pictures of Billy Bob's for your viewing pleasure.

I made the mistake of telling George that he would be attending his buddy's birthday party a week in advance. Oh holy hell. What was I thinking - no scratch that - I wasn't thinking at all. My mental faculties haven't been quite the same since my stint as an unpaid waste management employee in my own home last week. I'm not sure if the experience nabbed the extra brain cells clinking around in my head or if it was the harsh chemicals, namely bleach, that caused my lapse in thinking. Anyways, the point is I told the boy we were going to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese - but not for a week. Well....I learned this week that two year olds have no concept of a "week". Every five minutes I was asked when we were going. Any time we went on an outing, George assumed we were going to the party. Which turned out to be a great time when we pulled into the parking lot of Harris Teeter. He even took it upon himself to ask a much younger child at the playground if she could take him to Chuck E. Cheese several times. The girl's mother made a point to share what he said to her daughter. I heard it. I didn't need it repeated. I had been trying to not listen to the incessant begging and whining all week, and now I had a 30 something year old mother informing me that my son wants to go to Chuck E. Cheese. I gritted my teeth and bobbled my head as to acknowledge her important comment. George beamed with joy. He finally found someone that would join his grass roots effort to get him to Chuck E's house. I endured a week of torment that I created for myself. I think it was training for the big day.

We spent three hours racing, and I do mean racing around from game to game. I noticed that games that already have a player are much more enticing. What's worse than watching your child play an arcade game? Watching your child watch someone else playing an arcade game. The party went off without a hitch. When George wasn't looking I threw his coins into any open slot, oh I know....the shame of it all. We would have been there for six hours if I didn't take such liberties at the rate he was going. George excitedly rushed to the prize counter with all of his tickets. We were face to face with a disgruntled, attitude ridden teenage girl who pointed to a minuscule machine with a line longer than the Great Wall of China of children and weary parents. No longer will the prize giver outers count your tickets. No. Now one has to stand in line with impatient children hopped up on cake and pink lemonade and wait for your turn to cram all of your tickets into the machine, which prints out a receipt with your number of tickets. I thought we were through the worst. To which I say, HA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

We waited. We crammed in all 114 tickets. George got his receipt, and back to the counter we marched. I thought the big line to the ticket counting contraption was bad. Oh no. It was nothing compared to the non-line that we were now in at the ticket counter. It was a virtual herd of exhausted, cranky parents and children shopping for the perfect multi-colored, plastic slinky for 300 tickets. There was no line. It was first scream, first serve, and it was chaos, which is not my friend at all. Eventually we made it up to the front. George told the "wady" that he wanted the finger ball - don't ask. It was just that - a finger ball - which cost 350 tickets, that he couldn't afford. I quickly picked out his prizes for him. He got a lollipop, a crazy straw, and some type of suction cup circular piece of plastic junk, which is probably made of toxic plastic. He was happy with his wares, and now we could leave. I put my time in. It was like serving 5 years in the poky.

We gathered our items and dashed for the doors. We made it through the child check zone - where they check to make sure each person in your party is branded with the same number in invisible ink. I don't know why anyone would wander into Chuck E. Cheese and take someone's monster of a child, but nonetheless, it is a good idea. That's when it hit us. Fresh Air. It never felt so good to breathe in crisp, clean air and see the glorious sunlight. We made it through the party, and we made it out alive. It's all anyone could really ask for. We loaded in the family wagon and drove home. I leaped out of the van when I got home. I was fumbling around with my keys in the door when my husband asked me the dreaded question of all questions when you've just left Chuck E. Cheese. "What is in your Hair"? Oh man. I didn't know if I should come in the house and take a peek or just feel around with my greasy, germ laden paws. I chose the former. Adorning the top of my newly washed, for once blown dry, coiffed, church hair was the stick of a lollipop from one George. We laughed. We took a picture. Enjoy. My husband didn't get off easy either. He crashed on the couch as soon as he walked into our abode. He awoke to find himself being adorned by Chuck E. Cheese birthday party gift bag trinkets by one George. We laughed. We took a picture. Now we have proof to remind us why we don't go to Chuck E. Cheese more often.

Seize the Opportunity of a New Year

by Amy Fitzgerald, MSW

January 1, 2012

The holidays are behind you. You begin to put away the decorations and no longer look forward to checking the mail since all of the holiday cards have already arrived. No more midnight dashes to the store or staying up late to wrap presents. You can breathe. You can relax. While you are sitting there, enjoying all that free time, you might as well begin to think about the New Year. And as we all know, as a New Year arrives, so do the dreaded New Year’s resolutions.

But this year, try something different. Instead of a whole list, pick one or two simple goals that are attainable. It is January 1st and you have a chance to start over. As I was looking through New Year’s quotes, I came across an inspirational quote by Edith Lovejoy Pierce. “We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.” As mothers, we try to do it all and let’s admit it, sometimes we fail. Failure is designed to make us want to try again, and again, and again, until we succeed. So seize this chance for opportunity to design a plan, set up a timeline, rally your cheerleaders, and Go For It!

Don’t let that idea or opportunity sizzle away. You can always come up with a million excuses on why you shouldn’t do something, such as not going to the gym because you have to chauffer your kids everywhere or your simply too exhausted. Many of us have wanted to do things for ourselves, for awhile but ever since our kids were born, we have put those fabulous dreams of having a career, developing the artist within, or writing a novel, on the back burner.

Everyone one of us is unique. We all have something that makes us tick. Your family will always be numero uno but allow room to develop your own personal hobby or talent. The results will be fantastic. Your happiness will increase, you will become more self-confident, you will thrive each day, and all this goodness, will be poured into your family.

It is a simple concept that often gets disrupted so it will take determination and you cannot give up. Surround yourself with cheerleaders that will help you cross the finish line for a 5K or a half marathon. Find a gym, where everyone knows your name and become accountable when you are not in class. Join a book club and make it a goal to at least read the first half of the book before the meeting so you have your own ideas and thoughts to share. Sign up for a community class that taps into a hidden talent that you have always wanted to explore. Plan a trip to a magical place, besides Disney World, and explore the world. Develop your altruistic self and volunteer for the homeless shelter or at your kid’s school. Design a business plan for that fabulous concept that you want to become reality. There is so much opportunity out there. So what are you waiting for? It’s New Years Day and a it’s time for New Beginnings. Surprise yourself with what you can accomplish! Let 2012 be a year filled with Kindness, Love, Joy, and Opportunities!

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